May 6, 2015

I only closed my eyes for a minute….

Filed under: Health — by badluckfairy @ 10:07

And now it’s 2015! How did that happen?

My life has changed, I’m not the same person I was in 2011. I’m not the shy, reticent woman anymore who was scared and under someone else’s control.

I’ve not needed to hide behind a story written about a fictional character with glimmers of my own life woven into the words.

It’s not that I’ve lacked in ideas for things to write. I often find that a thought pops into my head that inspires the first spark of a story. But I’ve just not had the motivation to get my thoughts down on paper.

I think the following words sum up where I was at in 2011:

Why didn’t I say something? Why didn’t I scream? why didn’t I stand up and bolt at first chance?

Why did I lay there as still as I could?

Knowing I didn’t try as I should.

Why do I still look him in the eye?

Keeping the secrets and telling a lie.

Who will listen to me, tell me I’m right?

To lay with my eyes closed and keep him out of sight?


There really is a tiny bit of me in each of the stories I’ve posted on here.

I’m going to make the effort to try and get back into this blogging lark. If anyone still reads over here, please say hi ūüôā


April 28, 2011

Too much of a not so good thing…

Filed under: Family,Health,Kids,Single parents — by badluckfairy @ 23:18

Both of my children have had, well still have gastroenteritis for a week now.

I had no choice but to take them both with me to the supermarket this morning. ¬†On the way my three year old son reminded me that ‘I don’t feel verwy wheel Mummy.’ this was the moment when severe anxiety about the impending shopping trip really kicked in.

I should’ve turned round, should’ve gone straight home. ¬†But the fact was we had no milk, no bread, infact a totally empty fridge. ¬†We needed supplies.

I gritted my teeth and tried hard to put myself in the mindset I did last time I had no choice but to brave a supermarket with a poorly child.

Oh, the looks and comments I got then, me waddling heavily pregnant around a supermarket leading my then three year old daughter who blatantly had many many itchy chicken pox spots at the time.

Unfortunately, this trip evoked many pitying stares, many nice comments.  I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me.

My son was very very poorly in the middle of the supermarket.  All over himself and my feet.

We managed to get the milk, and indeed the bread.

This was the second time this week that one of my children has been sick in a very public place. ¬†My seven year old daughter was very poorly in the middle of a food court at a shopping outlet. ¬†Thankfully this time, I was in control of the travel situation and didn’t have to subject the poorly child to very very important (my left foot!) trainer shopping that couldn’t be postponed. ¬†It took two whole hours before we managed to get back to the car.

Now (touch wood) all is quiet and I can retire to bed when I choose, (very soon, I need some sleep!) my only current quandary is whether to watch the Royal Wedding tomorrow or not.

And I can sigh in relief that unlike 48 hours ago when it was my daughter who was at the peak of the gastroenteritis, I am fairly reassured that my son is nowhere near on the brink of being admitted to hospital.

This time 48 hours ago, all three of us were sat at the out of hours GP surgery at the hospital waiting for the Doctor to decide whether to admit my daughter or not.

I can’t wait until they are both properly better. ¬†Although I will probably have the nasty virus myself, I don’t mind. ¬†I have managed before to parent whilst very poorly. ¬†I just wish I could have it instead of either of them.

April 20, 2011

The Monkey called Ben

Filed under: Family,Health,Kids,Writing — by badluckfairy @ 17:42

My 7 year old has just written this. ¬†She said it will help me understand how she feels about school. ¬†I don’t really know what to make of this.

The Monkey called Ben

Once upon a time there was a little monkey called Ben.

Now Ben had no friends. ¬†The Lion didn’t want to be Ben’s friend.

Neither did Elephant nor Bear. ¬†Tiger didn’t want to be Ben’s friend either.

One day, Ben came running home crying ‘Mum, Dad, guess what? ¬†I’ve got a new friend, it’s Gorilla!

Gorilla told me I can come to his party!’.

On the day of the party, Ben got caught in a net.

Ben got taken to the human world and a palace.

He was announced as Prince Monkey.

After that, Gorilla didn’t want to be Ben’s friend anymore.

Ben wasn’t told at all.

Gorilla never ever ever ever never played with Ben ever again.

The two animals once forgave eachother. ¬†And from that day on, nobody bothered to say no to being Ben’s friend.

And they all lived happily ever after.

March 18, 2011

Feed the world….

Filed under: Family,Health,Humanities,Kids — by badluckfairy @ 23:02

I wish I could.

It’s Comic Relief and I feel really bad because I can’t phone and pledge some money or text and pledge.

Even if I could, I couldn’t be 100% sure that there is enough money in my bank account to donate.

I’m glad I haven’t got a credit card because I think I’d probably spend the next year or two paying off my pledge.

My children went to bed late tonight.¬† My daughter went to her friend’s party which didn’t finish until 9pm.

Of course as soon as she got in the car she started complaining that she was hungry.  So they both sat and had a snack when we got home.

My darling daughter said ‘Thank goodness it is Red Nose Day else the people in this clip on tv might have died’.¬† We were indeed watching Comic Relief on BBC1.

I’m so glad my babies are fat asleep in bed now.¬† I don’t think my sensitive girl, or even my boisterous boy would’ve coped with seeing the clip I’ve just seen.

It was about a prematurely born baby boy and his Mum who sadly died as they were too weak to be able to reach the much needed hospital care they needed in time.  They did reach the help, but sadly it was far too late.

Please, if anyone is reading, if you are in a position to make a donation, please do.

March 15, 2011

Japan hit by tragedy

Filed under: Health,Humanities — by badluckfairy @ 09:55

Yes, I know it happened on Friday.¬† But I didn’t find out about it until fairly late Friday night.

We don’t tend to watch the news.¬† I know that if anything major happens or anything that I should know about happens, I will be told about it by friends or family.

I knew exactly what was going to happen as soon as I found out.¬† And sure enough, as soon as we walked into my daughter’s class on Monday morning, the white board was filled up with video clips, headlines and news bulletins about the earthquake and tsunami.

Speechless and devestated- that’s how I would describe my reaction to watching the news on Friday night.¬† I have friends who have family in Japan so my first thought was to find out if everyone is accounted for.

Sadly we have had no news so far about a friend of mine’s 2 small nephews.¬† My thoughts keep on flitting to them and I can’t wait to hopefully hear they are safe and well.

Then it hits me, all those who I don’t know of that aren’t accounted for.¬† The children, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.

I can only begin to imagine how those searching for loved ones are feeling.  I can only hope that as many of them as possible have happy reunions with those who are currently missing.

Whole towns practically washed off the face of the earth.  Crops and livelyhoods gone.  I can only hope that Japan recovers.

What was I saying about my situation and the situation of others last week?

I am so grateful and so lucky to know exactly where my family and friends are right now.  Not to mention the house and amenities I have around me.

March 1, 2011

Refreshed? Nah.

Filed under: Health,Writing — by badluckfairy @ 20:58

Ah Tuesday.¬† I felt quite spritely when I leapt out of bed this morning….ok I didn’t actually leap out of bed, but I didn’t quite have to do the usual ‘throwing myself out of bed’ routine.

I slept really well last night apart from waking up momentarily goodness knows how many times.

Today I let my brain have as much downtime as I possibly could get away with.  I did spot various things that others have written that have started ideas forming in my own head.

I’m just waiting for the writing bug to bite me, and then something will hopefully just fall out of my head either onto paper or a word processor.

I’ve also gotten it into my head that one of the short stories I’ve written would make an awesome (I did warn you about the use of that word) one-off drama on tv.¬† There is another short story that I think would be good for this too, but I’d need to actually finish the story off and do some major research into suburban life in the 1970’s.

If I could get the laptop to connect to the internet, I would post an extract from the first short story I mentioned.

But as I can’t, and I’m not sure where my usb stick is right now, I shall leave that for another time.

February 28, 2011

Aaaaand relax.

Filed under: Health — by badluckfairy @ 18:41

Well thank goodness for that!

I knew my slightly dramatic tones would evoke me coming back with good news.

Last week I found a lump on my right breast.  Today I had to attend the breast clinic at Lincoln county hospital.  I felt quite anxious about all of this because breast cancer does seem to run in my family.  But thankfully the lump is nothing to worry about and will disappear of its own accord.

I did actually take my notepad and a pen along with me just incase I was kept waiting for whatever reason.  But I was seen very quickly and sent on my way before I knew it.  Tonight I will be catching up on some much needed brain downtime.

I’d like to say a public thankyou to those of you who knew about this, you all did a marvelous job of reassuring me that everything would be ok, and you were correct.¬† So once again, thankyou.

Now I can return to just focusing on having a flap about turning 30 in a few weeks!

And thankyou also to those of you who have given me the encouraging feedback about how my blog is shaping up so far.

I will try to make the page more interesting with more pictures and menus and such once I properly get into the swing of this as well as working out how to do those things.

So, as title….

Aaaaaaand relax.

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